Assertiveness training is learning to express your thoughts and feelings and to ask for what you need, comfortably, calmly, with consideration for others.
When you are assertive, you stay calm while disagreeing with someone, and you express your feelings in a positive and constructive way.
Assertive people are able to get their needs met–without stepping on someone else’s toes–and without hurting someone else’s feelings. As a bonus, bullies leave assertive people alone. They tend to single out people who are passive and less confident.
When you need to work on assertiveness, because you are either too passive or too aggressive, you can find help through assertiveness training.
Assertiveness training can help improve relationships, and reduce communication anxiety and stress when dealing with difficult situations.
In addition, assertiveness training improves confidence, your social skills, and helps you overcome shyness. When you learn to assert yourself, you will find that you can be more intimate with others, as well.
You will be more outgoing, and you’ll be able to tactfully resolve conflicts.
Assertiveness without Guilt
Too many people misunderstand what assertiveness is. They think that being assertive means being aggressive, sticking up for yourself, but not thinking of others.
In fact, being assertive is just the opposite. Yes, you do express your feelings and take care of your own needs. But an assertive person also considers the feelings and needs of others, as well!
A real bonus with this Hypnosis Downloads program on assertiveness, is that you will gain confidence and feel better about yourself. Watch the video to give you a nice preview.
When you are using assertiveness skills, you understand that you have personal rights to:
- Feel good about yourself
- Change your mind
- Say no and not feel guilty
- Have you own opinion
- Ask for help and receive guidance
- Ask for what you want or need
- Protest unfair treatment or criticism
- Be recognized for your achievements
- Gracefully accept compliments
- Take your time to form a response
- To experience and express your feelings
Assertiveness techniques help you alter your reaction to stressful situations. So, instead of inflaming a situation, you learn to resolve a conflict or solve a problem–unselfishly, keeping everyone in mind.
In addition, when you realize that your behaviors are not helping a situation, you take action to alter them to achieve a better result.
Here are some assertiveness techniques that will help you get started at more effective communication:
- Use “I” statements – Learn to express your feelings and emotions using “I” statements. Become comfortable expressing yourself and speaking about what you feel. By speaking with “I” statements you recognize that your opinions, thoughts, feelings are worthy. Examples: “I’m upset about…”, “I feel angry when….”, “I disagree with you about …”.
- Say NO – Be truthful about your needs. Helping someone is a kind gesture, but when it is inconvenient for you, it can drain your energy. Saying “yes” when it drains your energy can result in feelings of resentment and victimization (‘poor me’) of yourself. If you are not assertive, saying “no” can sometimes elicit feelings of guilt. You don’t need to feel guilty, because you have the right to refuse a request. You are simply deciding if you have the time and inclination to do something. Your problems and life’s circumstances are just as important as another person’s.
- Body language – Non-verbal communication plays a big part in all aspects of communication. In assertiveness training, pay attention to your body language when speaking your thoughts and feelings. Use your body language to portray confidence, stand up tall – no slouching.
- Eye contact – Lack of eye contact can be interpreted as feelings of insecurity, dishonesty and lack of confidence. When keeping eye contact re-direct your attention laterally for a short period of time, then make eye contact again. This gives the message that your are confident, listening, but not being intrusive or dominating (aggressive).
- Balance it out – When asserting yourself the idea is to state your opinion or feelings, but then take into consideration the other person’s.Be an active listener. Ask questions and try to understand the other person’s viewpoint. Avoid being intimidating, hurtful, denying that a problem exists, or changing the subject. Those actions don’t solve a problem effectively, and can destroy trust in a relationship.
- Problem Solving Skills – Use conscious actions and problem solving skills instead of getting emotional.Sometimes we let our emotions take control of our actions, and we respond out of anger, fear or because we feel like a victim.Think before you speak and act.
And, if you feel that you need to brush up on your communication skills with some training in assertiveness , do start the process right now.
Communicating well with others is one of the very best gifts that you can give yourself…